therapy

retail therapy is overrated.

i love taking leave and doing absolutely nothing at home. then heading to the gym and eating cinnamon raisin bagel and drinking my green tea freeze at starbucks. i wish i could do this everyday.

and looks like im heading over to the states afterall. i NEED TO GET MY TICKETS this weekend so that i can go find elmo in sept. and suddenly.... sept seems like EONS away. 12 weeks to be exact. fuck fuck fuck. i think i'm probably going to die before that.
____________________________________

sometimes i wish i was someone important in someone else's life. cos this is getting too difficult. and sometimes i think if i were just to disappear from the face of this earth.... not a lot of people would give a damn. like seriously.

Just what i needed

after a pretty demoralising week, both at work and on a much personal level, a meetup with frens is definitely a much needed perk-me-up, otherwise i swear i am sinking into depression.

Friday nite was spent having a last minute meeting with the brothers and emcees for Wayne's wedding. Not my first time being an emcee but it's the first time i'm doing it for a really close fren. 14 years friendship ok.... mai siao siao. Was pretty beat after work and the long meeting, thou necessary, was seriously making me super frustrated. But oh well.... bo bians.

Was supposed to meet Step at Happy Days (?) at Serangoon Gardens for the Brazil vs Portugal match but seriously had a super difficult time finding a cab. i swear i nearly wanted to shot myself. Ended up at the cafe at 1030pm and there was ABSOLUTELY NO SPACE. so we just sat at one corner (without a table) and ordering drinks. DAMN SAD. But soon after we got a table and ordered.... CHEEZY FRIES. thanks step for the recommendation and making me fat. really thanks.

Saturday was so god damn boring i went to the gym and had to rush back to prepare to go meet my Civil Engin coursemates for dinner. Went to Tampopo at Liang Court. i just love ramen, i can never get sick of it. And i know its damn lame but i think Ajisen ramen beats all ramen hands down. sorry. HAHAHA. i am easily satisfied that way. Robson totally fly kite but thats fine. *you bitch thanks a lot for the last minute cancellation. such an uneventlful match. we were totally not watching.... just talking nonstop.... but we did bet and she won cos i took brazil and she took portugal + draw.... ma de where got like that one. ended up losing to her the drinks and fries. FML.

Chazz Weyling and myself headed over to Ballymoon for drinks and finger food cos dinner was just too..... unsatisfactory. Chazz tot us how to play SHITHEAD and it was super fun. had super a lot of drinks. For those with citibank card i seriously recommend Ballymoon at Orchard Hotel course its quiet, the food is good and you get 15% discount. And there isnt service charge to begin with. Total bill for 6 glasses of wine, 1 long island, 1 guiness stout, 1 daiquiri, 1 basket of fries and like 10 spicy drumlets came up to only 92bucks. HOW CHEAP IS THAT. I wished i had the chance to bring 8gz here sometime. course it really very nice.

And im really glad to be able to see chazz again. we used to be such close friends in hall. but due to some juvenile argument, we totally stopped talking to each other. it got so bad i even deleted him from my msn and my phonebook (im saying all these cos i know he doesnt read my blog). and after such a long time, i guess both parties decided to put aside our egos and just "make up". I always wondered if we didnt fight, and we were still friends, things would have been so different. at least i would have another fren to ask out during weekends..... hahah. ok watevs. OVER.

i totally couldnt sleep so i actually stayed up to watch the USA vs Ghana match. yeah i know its totally not me.... and those 2 teams arent exactly exciting teams to watch. But i recently read that USA came back from their deficit during the last group match and won..... and that the captain was reported as saying "there is good in this world" after suffering 2 years of low period in his life.... i was intrigued. so i stayed up and watch..... and i got bored after the 1st half. OMG. i swear i cant watch soccer for nuts. i really DO NOT ENJOY IT.... unless copious amounts of alcohol and lots of swearing is included.

Totally hibernated today to prepare for waynes wedding. was a bit nervous. but i think i totally nailed it once again...... and weijie actually said i slimmed down. YES my gym membership has finally paid off. HAHHAA. loves it. and i swear i have never looked so good in my life..... but i only got to take like 3 or 4 photos. SO UPSETTING. This is one of them with my co-emcee tianhe

i hope this is the last time i emcee for other people because as much as i know i can do it.... preparing for it is SUCH A BITCH and takes up SO MUCH TIME that i dun think its worth it at all..... so if in the future u get married, and u ask me to be ur emcee.... AND I AGREE. u better thank ur lucky stars.

alrighty. pretty zonked out now... almost time to bed. yay tmr on leave so i can totally hibernated again. PLEASE LET THERE BE STORM TMR MORNING I BEG U GOD.

Rawa Paradise?

One word = LACKLUSTRE

The place itself was fine. it was secluded with lots of angmohs. yeah totally my kind of place. nothing much to do besides eat drink and make merry. It had the potential to be totally badass holiday...... except it wasnt.

Sorry waterboi. nothing to do with you. I guess sometimes when you have high expectations and you get anything less than that, it's just a bit.... disappointing. Blah. Plus the fact that this trip was 3 months in the making. can u imagine...... wait for 100years, like having a constipation and when u finally get to take a dump, u get puny pieces of shit. "what, that's it?" Unsatisfying. And in all seriousness, yeah. i blame myself.

oh and i cant tag myself on fb nor post pictures here because someone might see someone in the pictures when he's not supposed to be there. oooops.

I guess it may be another year long wait before we get to go on another holiday since by then most, if not all of us would have started working already. Which is sad.... what to do? :(

my nz said i shouldnt close my blog.... so i guess i wun. for now.

FINALLY

the letter i have been waiting for for weeks.

ladies and gents, please say hello to Senior Engineer Tan Cheong Chye.

For the past 2 years i felt like i was struggling in the deep ocean... dunno anything. everything ask people. felt like a retard. XIANG BU DAO i have underestimated myself all along. Im not that dumb. and your efforts do get recognised.

Gotta thank my lucky stars, and my parents for putting up with my crap and lousy attitude when i go home from work. and my papa for always cooking dinner when i go home... and then i always get angry at them for the simplest reasons like asking the same question 3 times. yeah i know i am angsty that way and i should be slapped.

but there is something else i am waiting for... nothing to do with work. and i'm hoping that comes soon. if not i am going into depression.

I stole this off someone else's blog

"For a while now, I have forgotten how to smile. I mean I can freely prop the sides of my face up and make that funny lip shape... if you call that a smile. Other than that, nothing."

because this is exactly how i feel.

On a side note. i am contemplating closing this blog. because the only people who read it already know whats going on in my life and i dun need to repeat it here. under the pretense of .... whatever pretense i am blogging under.

... and the only reason for me to really smile is when u smile with me too.

I have...

29 days of leave i can take this year.
out of which i have to clear 11 by Dec.
i have shitloads of money sitting in my bank and i dunno how to spend it.
i want to go on a holiday to USA so desperately otherwise i will go mad but i apparently have...
zero frens who actually save.

can someone kindly enlighten me why?

i need to find me some rich frens who dun need to work.
ps: not kidding about the shitloads part
pps: not braggin. just stating facts.

waka waka

i have been seeing the word waka waka the past few days and all the while i tot it was a new game on facebook.... now i know its the theme song for world cup. omg im sucha loser please.... nice song thou... and shakira's... bouncy.

leeching rocks

totally DID NOT DO ANYTHING on friday nite please, so boring. cos i stayed at home to watch world cup opening with my family... sister came over. obliged to stay at home for some quality time..... ate macs early dinner. den come home and cooked maggi, eat chips, drink wine, eat cherries while watchng soccer. totally pigged out please. tell me how to take HOT photos at rawa TELL ME HOW!!!!! ok i got so instantly bored after 10mins i came upstairs to watch my downloaded drama. so much for quality time. HAHAHAA.

saturday i went gym (yeah i know loser right on a sat) cos i felt so guilty about pigging out the nite before. totally ran my ass off. finally ran 4km again on the threadmill. and worked out those arms..... but i gotta say this. MY ABS ARE USELESS. no matter how hard i train the it is NOT SHOWING AT ALL. i swear i hate my abs.

thot i was totally going have another boring nite at home but a fren asked me to join his other air steward frens for drinks at tp. LOVES IT PLS. they were all so nice and they bought me drinks eh! like totally 1 heineken, 2 coronas and a glass of red wine. YUAN LAI leeching for drinks can be soooo fun! no wonder @khawct and @ufernalexis always does that..... i can be a manwhore now and leech for drinks too!! such a fun nite with fun people.

Today suddenly got my fh's sms to go WAXING WITH HER.... since i was bored i decided to obliged.... accompanied her to taka to get her hoochie waxed and ready for rawa. so funny i asked her "CAN I WATCH?" and she said "EWWW why do u wanna see my J***I?" hahhaha funny ass shit pls. after that we took a stroll from taka to liat towers for starbucks... i think i need to slow down my steps cos even when i am chilling i am always rushing to places.... i need to turn my walking speed down a notch.

So this is me eating my honeycomb coffee cake. shitty shit my face is huge ass round.

and this is my fh enjoying her scones. wooots like having tea on the upper east side.

came back home to eat a super sumptuous meal at the zichar place with my ahma and totally full now.... satisfied.... cant wait for this friday to come.... it's about time :)

NO MORE...

NO MORE ANGSTY THOUGHTS.... at least for the next 2 weeks.
no more.
no more.
no more.
I WILL TRY TO BE HAPPY
i will
i will
i will
try.

Ramblings [part unknown]

i hate the fat boy. fat boy deserves to DIE a horrible tragic death. stop tweeting. no one needs to know what u are doing all the time. ur so called twitterami is POINTLESS and IDIOTIC. fat boy. seriously..... all fat people should NOT be allowed to exist. they take up too much space. blobs of shit. period.

the older u get the less frens u've got. u weed out the useless and u'll only get a handful left. proven and tested every weekends.

if u receive an sms, kindly reply. that's the only considerate thing to do. same with emails and msn.

dun u just miss the simpler times. when u are a kid. no responsibilities. no worries. all u need to do is eat, sleep, play and make sure u dun eat ur own shit by accident.... u dun have to think about what u have to battle at work tmr. things u have to get done. things that are due..... things that can't run without u there.

song of the moment. Christina Aguilera's Not myself tonight. and I LOVE that choreography by Alex Bullon. Itching to steal the choreography. but my lack of technique is holding me back. probably AINT GONNA HAPPEN.

rawarawarawarawarawarawarawarawa.

Can anyone recommend airline to take to NYC? dun tell me SQ cos i obviously cant afford that.

Conversations

"fuck man. what the hell is wrong with me? i can do this"
hiding in the toilet in a club, trying to calm myself down. didnt work. the nite went on as awkward as it started.

"hi"
That's all i got. a cold, nonchalant hi, the entire.freaking.nite. And it was with a handshake.... A HANDSHAKE. WHAT THE FUCK. moving on.

"oh My GOD! STOP CALLING ME"
screaming at the office phone after answering 10 consecutive calls from various fucktards. having a lady gaga moment without the cigarette stick glasses and the coke cans in the hair. i bet my colleagues must be thinking i am a schizo.

"he said he wants to distance himself from us"
errrrr ok if that's what he wants. whatever right? i can't control how people think. *shrugs

"so you got promoted or not?"
dad to me. i'll make the announcement soon. at the right time. if any. not like any of u cares.

"hello Mr Tan. So when are u coming to make payment?"
I've said it once and i dun wanna repeat myself. i said within the next 2 weeks u bloody useless travel agent.

Freak II

FML

this has got to be the long thing i have ever committed myself to.... I JUST SIGNED A 30MONTH GYM MEMBERSHIP at TRUE FITNESS...... gonna get me some absssssssssssssssssssssssss. Im sure its SOMEWHERE IN THERE.