every living cell in my body is rejecting chemistry... nothing is going into my brain and i am 12 hours away from my mid term test. i am so SO screwed.

No shit.

My Living with Maths lecturer spent 30mins teaching the class how to tell the time..... which to me is totally embarrassing (esp if there were foreign students in that class) and farking retarded... why did i spend 5600 bucks a year to let UNIVERSITY lecturers teach me how to tell time? this is like.... farking retarded. Like it brings the word "retarded" to a whole new level.... like a level outta this world..... needless to say, i felt that i've wasted my time and i left halfway thru.... so SO retarded

on a totally unrelated note.... i hope this sem passes by.... quickly. pronto, if possible..... its like sophomore slump...... i dun understand half the things i study.... and i have to dance....3 out of 5 days in school (which will only increase as performance day draws nearer).... and there are so many tv shows on... ta ma de. Its like the cosmic forces are playing a big joke on me. Like "oh, let's try and experiment. let's make cheong chye SUPER busy, give him tonnes of stuff to do and see when's his breaking point. this is gonna be SUPER FUN!" kinda joke. Which in my opinion, is just plain spastic, and not funny at all.

The Maker Makes

by Rufus Wainwright from Brokeback Mountain soundtrack

One more chain I break

To get me closer to you

One more chain does the maker make

To keep me from bustin' through

One more notch I scratch

To keep me thinkin' of you

One more notch does the maker make

Upon my face so blue

Get along, little doggies

Get along, little doggies

One more smile I fake

And try my best to be glad

One more smile does the maker make

Because he knows I'm sad

Oh Lord, how I know

Oh Lord, how I see

That only can the maker makes

A happy man of me

Get along little doggies

Get along little doggies

Get along...

ok, i finally caught Brokeback Mountain on the big screen last night with a fren of mine. And unless you have been living under a rock for the past couple of months, you would have noticed the Brokeback Phenomena thats typhoon-ing its way through every part of the world. From fashion houses like Prada and Dolce & Gabbana adopting cowboy inspired pieces in their summer collection to the countless (seriously, countless) spoofs of the movie, seen at youtube.com. there is certainly no way of evading this wave of cowboy attack.

And if you don't already know, this movie IS a fine masterpiece, sweeping major awards like The Golden Lion at the Venice film fest, and more recently at the Golden Globes and the BAFTAs and also leading the upcoming Oscars wth 8 noms. Without sounding too amateurish, i shall attempt to give my 2 cents about this movie.

The premise of this story is pretty simple. While working together one summer of 63 at Brokeback Mountain, 2 cowboys, Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist forms a strong friendship that develops into a sexual bond that none of them ever imagined. Over the next 20 years, they try to lead seperate lives, but find themselves returning to the majestic mountain to rekindle their love each year. Alas, the tale of Romeo-loves-Romeo turns to a bitter end as something tragic happens. Through many ups and downs, the only thing constant in their lives is their forbidden love.

The casting of the 4 main leads couldn't have been better, each giving the performances of their lives. From Heath Ledger's protrayal of the gruff and seemingly-incapable-of-human-emotions Ennis, to the wide-eyed romantic Jack, played by Jake Gyllenhaal. From Princess Diaries' Anne Hathaway, shedding her clothes and exposing some lovely boobies (hehe), and Michelle Williams doing the same, all in the name of art.

Dubbed the "gay cowboy movie", it is a tricky business to get the pacing and tone of the movie right. Over doing it will draw laughs from the mainstream audience while under doing it will, well, anger the gay crowd. But the end result is simply sublime and tasteful. To quote an 8-days article, ""I ain't queer", Ennis says early on, to which Jack replies, "Me neither". Ang Lee doesn't force the gay issue. His is a universal love story of desire and denial and lives half lived, a romance monumental yet intimately told with delicacy, lyricism and sorrow."

This film explores the possiblity of the idea that if the outside world didn't exist and it's only you and there is no one to judge you, would you still love the person you love today, and making the same decisions as you would have. And if you think you may cringe watching the sex scenes, i have to say that they are seriously nothing compared to say... heterosexual stuff like... i dunno. you get the drift.

So keep and open mind and do catch it if you have the time, cost it's worth every single cent in my opinion, cos if you see a cliche, you can always find something more complex at the bottom of it.

I BRUISE EASILY by Natasha Bedingfield

My skin is like a map, of where my heart has been
And I can't hide the marks, but it's not a negative thing
So I let down my guard, drop my defences, down by my clothes
I'm learning to fall, with no safety net, to cushion the blow

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
There's a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily, can't scratch the surface without moving me
Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily

I found your finger prints on a glass of wine
Do you know your leaving them all over this heart of mine too
If I never take this leap of faith I'll never know
So I'm learning to fall with no safety net to cushion the blow

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
There's a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily, can't scratch the surface without moving me
Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily

Anyone who, can touch you, can hurt you, or heal you
Anyone who, can reach you, can love you, or leave you

So be gentle
So be gentle
So be gentle
So be gentle

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
There's a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily, can't scratch the surface without moving me
Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily

I bruise easily
I bruise easily

ok, so once in a while you chance upon a haunting track sang by an unknown singer, and right away, you are captivated by the voice, the way he sings and basically, fall in love with him/her (the music, not the person).

And for me, right now, the person is Rufus Wainwright. And the song in question is The Maker Makes, from the Brokeback Mountain soundtrack. OMG i dun think i will ever get sick of hearing that song (but i am afraid my neighbours will).

So me being me, having nothing much to do (at least that's what i tell myself), i google-d him and realised that he isnt exactly very "unknown". in fact he has quite a number of albums under his belt and sang for a number of movie soundtracks as well, including Moulin Rouge and Shrek. And i was so stupid, i didnt even notice i already had one of his songs in my playlist (the one from Moulin Rouge). Hmm, he looks kinda wierd looking.... fugly even, as what my friend lynn wud have said (i like the word fugly... it's like the new black).

ok, and he's piano trained since he was like, a baby.... and was touring with his family since the age of 14... so yeah he's kinda cool.... and it doesnt hurt that he an an incredible voice!

And also, he's openly gay....... wassup with gay people and the music industry, you ask? i have no idea.... somehow all the good singers are gay..... the lead singer from Queen is gay. The guy from Greenday, something armstrong, is supposedly gay, i think. Mark Feehily from Westlife, the only one that can sing in my opinion, came out of the closet a few months back. Erm, Elton John, George michael are all queerer than queer.... and of cos Stephen Gately from the now defunct Boyzone. OMG gay is infiltrating the world!! Kill'em all!! (right.... me being a liberal person, dun really care. As long as they give me good music, i dun give a damn if they are gay, bi, str8 or trans.... hahaha)

ok here attached are some of the abovementioned fugly (YES! i said it again) RUFUS WAINWRIGHT. if anyone is interested in his songs, lemme noe. i can transfer them to u!

I think i have run out of creative juices.... i spent the last 5 mins thinking of how to open today's post. but here it goes anyway.

1. I got my my first french test and i am glad to say i scored rather decently! haha so proud of myself. JE NE SUIS PAS SUCKY AT FRENCH! haha. but then again.... confirm plus guarantee plus CHOP CHOP CHOP gonna S/U.

2. Watched a dance production by NUS Dance Emsemble with my fellow dancers It was well worth my time and the pieces were stunning to say the least. PLUS! i saw a fat woman with some serious cleavage. In the words of Lijin, "If her cleavage look like her ass, what does her ass look like?" that woman should seriously wear push up bra before gravity gets her good

3. Memoirs of a Red Autumn (KR production). The set was beautifully set up. the songs were well written. the band was fantastic. On the downside, there was no plot. and it was farrrrrr too draggy. but all in all, a mark up from last year's. Good job all production people.

4. have been watching too much downloaded drama. yes i am a pirate and i am not ashamed to say it! so bite me.... Lost S2E10, Desperate Housewives S2E15, Grey's Anatomy S2E15 and The OC S3E13 heeeeeerre i come!!

on a totally unrealated note, it irks me how nice other people's blogs are. seriously. (and by that i am talking abt Miss Law Dingying). Damn u woman....heh

i do apologise to my loyal readers for not updating my blog more frequently.... i am plaqued with a disease... , which hinders me from doing so.... which i will tell u right abt now.

Ok, so you all know how very much i like to sleep. like more than your average normal human being. i can sleep like there is no tmr. APPARENTLY, my doctor friend (okok, not exactly doctor yet but studying medicine) told me that i may be suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome..... yes i kid you not. There's actually a disease allocated for people who sleep too much.... and it doesn't really bother me that i HAVE a disease.... it's the way they put it. CHRONIC.... like theres no cure (which actually is the case). and it sounds as if i am abt to die within the next half a year....

so me being me, with nothing much to do googled this unspeakable disease and here's wat i found:

"Chronic fatigue syndrome, or CFS, is a debilitating and complex disorder characterized by profound fatigue that is not improved by bed rest and that may be worsened by physical or mental activity. Persons with CFS most often function at a substantially lower level of activity than they were capable of before the onset of illness. In addition to these key defining characteristics, patients report various nonspecific symptoms, including weakness, muscle pain, impaired memory and/or mental concentration, insomnia, and post-exertional fatigue lasting more than 24 hours. In some cases, CFS can persist for years. The cause or causes of CFS have not been identified and no specific diagnostic tests are available.

Some other symptoms include abdominal pain, alcohol intolerance, bloating, chest pain, chronic cough, diarrhea, dizziness, dry eyes or mouth, earaches, irregular heartbeat, jaw pain, morning stiffness, nausea, night sweats, psychological problems (depression, irritability, anxiety, panic attacks), shortness of breath, skin sensations, tingling sensations, and weight loss."

So yeah, i am rather bothered now.... cos i swear i have at least 80% of those symptoms..... and the fact that my so called doctor fren Dr Chang, told me that there's no cure.... isnt really helping much either.

So yeah..... seriously. help me out here. DUN CALL OR SMS ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NITE..... cos i dun off my phone. so it disturbs my sleep. DO NOT DO NOT CALL ME OR SMS ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON!!! cos i will be having my afternoon naps. (somehow, it seems as if everyone hates me and calls me on my phone whenever i am having naps.... like every 5mins. seriously.... cosmic forces are playing a joke on me) this is a desperate plea.

with that said..... peace out y'all.....zzzZZZZ

wahhhh so exciting!!! Orchids are actually blooming in my room!! first time ever!! usually they just wilt before the buds open.... but now, some of them are actually opening up!! So exciting! and i didnt even give them a proper vase..... hahaha okok. THANKS AILI FOR THE ORCHIDS!!

here are some photos taken over the CNY..... apparently this is a good year for those born in the year of pig.... which is me. apparently the sun is gonna be shining exceptionally bright and the fortune teller says i need a lot of sun my entire life. so thats extra good for me.... hopefully


i think i look god damn photogenic..... dun u agreeeeeeeee?


Me and and my mum and i auntiesssss

My family

Family portrait!! (mum's side).... notice the cute fashion accessory that's sitting on my lap. absolutely adorable
me and my dad..... who knew i would end up not looking like him.... i think. hehe

today, while i was watching downloaded eps of grey's anatomy, i glanced into my mirror. and the awful awful truth FINALY hit me. i-am-FAT. i know, somewhere, someones wants to stab a fork into my eyeballs and hurt me so bad.... but seriously. it's all about the clothes man. they CONCEAL your fats so you look skinny.... and i was fooled by that.... for months.

i mean ok. i am not exactly morbid obese. but in all seriousness, have u since the state of my stomach recently? it is NOWHERE the abs of steel i wanted.... since puberty. it's like all the fats seem to want to congeal and congregate at my waist.... and that is driving me insane. And i noe those really fat people must be thinking i have some kind of ally-mcbeal-bulimic-anorexic syndrome. but no. i am really fat.

ya see, i am a scrawny man. so any excess fat around my tummy would make me look like a malnutritioned ethiopian.... and probably carrying the ebola virus..... and the same amt of fat if transfered onto say..... moses lim, he would only look extra bloated. thats why i say i am fat.

which is why i hauled myself out for a jog just now, which nearly caused my heart to rip and my knees to fall apart. seriously if i keep abusing my knees like that, i will be paralysed by the time i am 30. but HOWWWWWWWWWW tell me how to get rid of my tummy!!!!! i want abs of steel..... in fact, i want steel of EVERYTHING!

Organising a mahjong session with my friends is like watching an S-league soccer match. Its just a WHOLEEEEEE lotta waiting, and yet nothing ever happens. i hate it when pple are wishy washy. i hate it when pple cant seem to make up their minds. i hate it when promises are not kept. i want to play mahjong and i was given a GLIMMER of hope that it will happen tonight but NOOOOOOO. i was pang seh-ed and i am half-pissed.

i am NOT spontaneous. if things doesnt go the way i want them to, I FREAK OUT. spontaenity and me--- 2 totally different non-related things.... we mix together like oil and water. we dun click. we just dun. dun ask me why dammit.... i dun knowwwwwwwww!

Just some random pictures of my project group..... first time giving a presentation. And it went relatively ok in my opinion..... good job ya guys!!


Presenting, the management of Bluestones Int.

me and 2 hideous looking ties

Backstreet's back (ALRIGHT!!!)

Moses and i in a "normal" pose

Me, trying to lick Moses. For some unknown reason

Me and Robson. Notice how white my teeth are!!

Contrary to popular belief, i do club. in fact, i rather enjoy it. however, i only oblige to go on a very specific set of rules.

1. i have nice, presentable set of clothes to wear
2. i am comfortable with the people i am going with
3. i am feeling slightly rich
4. i am booked at least one week in advance (i lack spontaenity)

which probably explains why i club less than 10 times in my entire life. So it came as a shock (even to myself) when i agreed to go to eusoff hall bash, since it clearly violates rules 2, 3 and 4. especially rule number 4. (Being a metrosexual wannabe, i never ever violate rule number 1. its there just for show actually). i guess my brain must have been wired differently today when i woke up.....

i was quite excited to go... cos i'm quite sick of school. but phuture really sucks. the music sucks, there were too many people, even for a friday nite. singaporeans are truly a club-friendly bunch of people. maybe i should go open a club someday..... sure earn money. i digress. but got to knew some nicer eusoffians through chazz and xiling. yeah. not as stuck up as i think normal eusoffians are...

but things turn on a sour note when chazz, the resident angst ridden undergrad, had a foul mood due to the impermeable crowd cutting into us constantly. it turned so bad he had a mini scuffle with some guy. i mean i dun blame him.... the crowd was soooo bad, we were practically solid molecules vibrating about a fixed position. there was even a point when i swear i was making out with a column, simply because there were too many darn people.

but then again, no point spoiling everyone's fun by getting into an arguement right? (ok if anyone reads this, DO NOT under any circumstances ask chazz what happened. unless u hate me and wants to see me dead) i mean, yeah.... i love chazz to bits (as a friend, like i constantly say) but his wrath is something i would NOT want to cross path with, ever again.

was feeling a bit tired and my knees were too painful and weak. so i think i looked like a heroin junkie on the verge of having paralysis, still trying to act cool. aye. thank god we left soon after. in a jaguar no less. hehe. the perks of having rich friends....

saw rongwei before leaving!! havent seen him since school started! still looking good as usual, if not better!! was there with his supposed "we-are-just-normal-friends" girlfriend. hehe. u sly fox! its so nice to see him.... it's friends like him that remind me how great my life is. i mean, he obliged to go watch movie with me when i was having one of my mini breakdowns during first semester... (yes yes, i have breakdowns... go ahead. laugh). it made me feel tonnes better after and i owe him my life for that.

so yeah. what an eventful friday night isnt it? would have been better if more of our friends were there and the music didnt sucked ass..... haha.

Anyway, below are some of my funka pictures!! Dun you think i look so good in all the photossss?? i am so darn photogenic! if it isnt psychotic, i would marry myself....

So FINALLY swimming meet is over!! haha. it was a day of fashion faux pas, unsightly pubic hair and a day of utter flop-ness!! but it still felt good swimming competitively after one year (or half a year, after ibg. but then again, ibg's 25m is so ridiculous i hardly consider it a competition).

So i was placed the first swimmer for both free and breast. which i dun really like actually.... i prefer to know where i stand so i can better pace myself throughout. but oh well. it wouldnt have made any difference anyway.

at one point during the freestyle relay, i couldnt see anyone on either of my sides. so i figured, i was either 1. really fast, 2. really slow, or 3. there was a false start but my deaf ears didnt hear the whistle. But after some really deep thought, i guessed it was pretty much the second since i havent been training for long. and sure enough, i was the second last to touch the wall.... history truly repeats itself. how tragic.

but to console myself, the other halls had all types of ivp, nationals and even foreign imports, like the hungarian horntail, aptly named by chazz, who was incidentally wearing trunks with yellow volleyball pattern. 3 words-- fashion faux pas.

speaking of which, there were so many male swimmers wearing outrageously low hipster trunks that exposed some of (or rather the most of) their pubic hair. which to me is just unacceptable. i mean, if they wish to wear their trunks so low, the least and most civil thing the guys can do is to trim. like seriously. they display their pubic hair, as if something worth exhibiting. come on guys. everyone has pubic hair and there is no reason to let others see them. gross. otherwise, may i suggest getting a brazilian wax, which i contemplate having myself.... heheh. okok too much info here.

have fun y'all!

Dear Diary,

its only the 2nd week of school and i already cant breathe. i cant feel my pulse and my chest certainly isnt moving. i have a 33 hr week and that equates to no life. and due to my no life schedule, i cant go for one of my core modules tutorial.... after all sorts of permutations and combinations. why does shit like this always happen to me.... ta ma de

just went to cut my hair.... and sort of dyed it.... in a very not obvious color.... wondered if i wasted my money. i think i did. but i got my hair a nice 10min treatment, which cost me 25 bucks (just for treatment). i am like sooo broke now. maybe i should sue the hair salon for ripping me off.... damn u hair salons!!! (you guys better start complimenting my new hair cut and color or i will hack your heads off too)

the steppers are practicing outside my window now... which is quite annoying. i cant do my work. its half an hour to the Golden Globes. i am procastinating about writing my lab report and revising my notes. i noe its a bit early to revise anything. but i need my As. badly. Desperately.

i hope brokeback mountain wins..... considering its such a groundbreaking film.

oh ta ma de, my blk comm just jio-ed me to go chinatown for blk outing. i hate that place. and i hate crowds. i would rather spend the next 2 hours watching the golden globes. because i am such a banana. i dunno why pple like to use the word jio. its so...... boorish....and unrefined.... like crude oil. i hate that word. so people, STOP USING IT.

i am like writing a whole thesis on my nonsensical life here. if only i can write this much for my lab report. which i will start reading in like 10 seconds.

cant wait for tomorrow. tmr marks the last day of ihg.... for me. no more funka, no more ihg. life is good...... besides the fact that i have a 33hr week. but then you know that already, don't you?

peace out y'all

ok so i got into funka semis.... sorta have mixed feelings getting in. i'm happy... cos it means i'm not the lousiest team and i get to performa t taka. i'm semi- sian cos i have to practise the same dance for another week. which is super irritating. but i guess i just have to finish it. hopefully something good comes out of it

and AILI stop calling me the one who comes from changi.... u desker road woman. hehe. (somewhere in the background i hear sean paul's get busy playing and i see a cow shaking) you friggin' biatch!!!!

on a totally unrelated note, it has been raining for the past.... 36 hours. and it finally finally stopped. thank god. i need some sunshine in my life. i need to feel some heat in my fingers again

i am happy i made up with my fren again. i think we are ok. i hope. he seems to be friendly to me again. which is good. i never meant to put him down. he should know that i love him... as a friend (yes i love my friends, even if they are guys, and i am not afraid to say that out loud) and i never in any way wanted to make him feel like shit. so there.

i feel fat. i have a blob of thing hanging round my mid section. i am incoherent and i am so tired. i should stop writing. but i will not. because i have my loyal fans to entertain. i am monologuing.

stop messing with my brain. arghhhhhh.

so here i am... finally decided to haul ass and keep up with this blog... this i hope wudnt be my last post. considering school is about to start and being a lazy pig, i cant picture myself having this kind of discipline. alrighty. anyway, here are some of the top memorable moments of 2005 (in no particular order)!!

1. IHG Swimming. we were the underdogs.... and we came out acheiving better than expected! (2nd or third i think). no thanks to all the disqualifications made by the other halls. haha losers!

2. dance nite 2005. definitely a night to remember. the high of performing. dancing with my best friend. whats there not to like? too bad my friends werent there to support. but thats fine

3. rag dance!! i absolutely LOVED the experience! although the prince of darkness is no more, but the memories of it all was well worth months of practice. thanks step for being a fantastic choreo!

4. Stepping down as block comm. nuff said.

5. cost of vodka: $50
cost of boxers: $10
cost of me merlioning wearing only my boxers: priceless
thanks to chazz for clearing up my puke. lynn for giving me one tight slap and zhonghan + JP for making me feel that merlioning is no big deal. but no more man.... no more

6. funkamania 05/06. this hasnt exactly happened yet but i mean.... yeah. come support KONVICTS on 7th jan NUS forum!

7. my Europe trip!! c'est magnifique! from arguing about how to cook maggi mee to eating wierd cheese. from getting lost in the streets of venice to the shopping at champs elysees. from the theatres of the west end to the chapels in barcelona. i would do it all over again with my 2 bestest frens. in a hearbeat.

8. campfire for mr teo. hosting and leading songs for the 2nd time brought some nostlagia of yesteryears. i cant believe it's been 10 years of being a scout. once a scout, always a scout. truly.

9. falling out with my supposed best fren in hall. it was a stupid misunderstanding ( i think). i mean, i dun think it was my fault (i hope). i wished it didnt happen. it's so tragic. arghhh.

10. the day i got my results. this last sem of 2005..... whoa. best sem ever. keep up the good work man!

11. Xmas and New Year. Went to my first official Xmas party at Step's house. great food. great company. played mahjong the whole night. woohoo! watched fireworks at skee's house. great view. great company! woohoo!

so. 2005 came and went by. it was truly a year ful of unexpected surprises... full of twists and turns worthy of a hollywood epic. i am beginning to enjoy my university life more. made some new friends. danced my heart out. i'm lovin' it! hopefully 2006 will bring me to greater heights!
Happy New Year guys!

FINALLY, i finished mapping my sep modules. and guess what. i will be taking 12 modules there!! isnt that totally exciting?? i am so darn looking forward to it. imagine, spending 10k in france to be a blardy mugger! life is good man.....

and FINALLY, gonna have my first Funka prac..... anxious, excited. cant wait

death by chocolate..... totally. just came back from the much raved abt chocolate buffet at fullerton. OMG..... death by chocolate. i had to say it again. its waaaaay to much chocolate, even for willy wonka. i think i might have to self induce myself into puking. its terrible.

actually my frens and i didnt have a table.... cos my dear fren carol didnt book (so inefficient). so we ended up waiting and looking like some desperate pple trying to getourselves into some posh restaurant. we could smell the chocolate fountain from where we were waiting. and we wanted to kill those pple taking the food.

in the end we got a table (after carol and skee worked their female charm on the waiter.... seriously.... some womanly charms do work) ok. before we went to the buffet, we made a note to pace oursleves...... but i obviously didnt..... and i pretty much KOed after one hour, eating nothing but some fancy fusion of green tea & chocolate, chocolate fondue.... chocolate cake..... more chocolate cake. in the end we just ended eating the fruits, withour chocolate. cos it was just too much. i can still smell the cocholate fountain..... and it makes me wanna barf.

so we finally gave up and went to maxwell to have some real solid food. wahhhhh it feels good to have something warm and salty in my mouth...... seriously. chocolate buffet is a once in a lifetime thing..... i wun ever go back...... even if u bring me there in a sedan or pay for it. i am swearing off chocolate for at least one month. barf.